funny

Fascinating Usage of Shakespeare: Shakespeare Insult Chewing Gum

People are always looking for interesting ways to introduce Shakespeare into everyday life. I was looking on the Book Hunter’s Holiday blog, and the blogger covered a creative candy maker’s means of bringing Shakespeare into everyday life in a way that’s a whole lot of fun: Shakespeare insult chewing gum. Until now, I never thought it was possible to find something that’s both edible, chewable, and contains insults, but there’s a first for everything.

Each gumball insult set is a mini bookshelf containing “books” of insults (gumball packages) from Henry V, Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, Romeo & Juliet, or Richard III. The gumball sets are packaged like books with a picture of Mr. Shakespeare, and each mini bookshelf has the words: “Thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese” in yellow letters.

Each package contains two gumballs and a Shakespearean insult printed inside. The best part: you can both chew gum and practice Shakespearean insults on friends (best online fun fact discovery ever!!). A picture of the Shakespearean insults gum is posted below:

shakespeare-chewing-gum

Photo source: Chapter 307: Shakespeare in miniature-it’s edible and disgusting “The Book Hunter’s holiday”( http://bookhuntersholiday.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/chapter-307-shakespeare-in-miniature-its-edible-and-its-insulting/)

What if Shakespeare…were STUCK IN TRAFFIC?

The two hours traffic of our stage: (1)

Like captives bound to a triumphant car – / What! shall we curse the planets of mishap / That plotted thus..? (2) Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not! (3)

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels (4) – that same wicked bastard…that was begot of thought, conceiv’d of spleen, and born of madness! (5)  Under your hard construction must I sit (6) I’ the midst o’ the body, idle and unactive (7).

I am arrested in the street (8) creeping like snail / Unwillingly (9).  Beyond the bounds of patience (10) Men all in fire walk up and down (11), stand in narrow lanes / And beat [their] watch (12).  Sorrow snares relenting passengers (13).

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn / Is not a thing to laugh to scorn (14).

 

1)    Romeo & Juliet, Prologue

2)    Henry VI, I; 1.1

3)    Timon of Athens, 1.1

4)    Much Ado About Nothing, 3.4

5)    As You Like It, 4.1

6)    Twelfth Night, 3.1

7)    Coriolanus, 1.1

8)    Comedy of Errors, 4.1

9)    As You Like It, 2.7

10)  Henry IV, I; 1.3

11)  Julius Caesar, 1.3

12)  Richard II, 5.3

13)  Henry VI, II, 3.1

14)  As You Like It, 4.2

 

Shakespeare re-arranged by L.I.

Animals playing at Shakespeare!

Good morning all!

I saw this little guy getting all pensive and asking the big question and couldn’t resist posting!

Hamlet Eagle                                                                                                   Fig. 1

Here’s a few more cats I came across getting into character!

DiscontentNow is the winter of our discontent                                                        Fig. 2

 

CaesarEt tu, Brute!                                                                                      Fig. 3

romeo catBut, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?                          Fig. 4

Fig. 1  Hamlet [III. i. 1749] http://funnyanimalpicturescat.com

Fig. 2  Richard III [I. i. 2] http://shakespearecat.tumblr.com

Fig. 3  Julius Caesar [III. i. 1286] http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/shakespeare-kitty

Fig. 4  Romeo and Juliet [II. i 846] http://invisiblecats.com/

Posted by Linda Nicoll

What if Shakespeare…were an ARTIST?

Image

Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight Adonis painted by a running brook, and Cytherea all in sedges hid (1). A thousand moral paintings I can show that shall demonstrate these quick blows of Fortune’s more pregnantly than words (2).

O proper stuff! This is the very painting of your fear (3). A Death’s-head or a memento mori (4). Have I frightened thee (5)?

What’s here? the portrait of (6) a virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful (7). Here in her hairs the painter plays the spider and hath woven a golden mesh to entrap the hearts of me (8). Good my lord, forbear: The ruddiness upon her lip is wet; You’ll mar it if you kiss it, stain your own with oily painting (9).

For your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company (10). Inspiration of celestial grace (11) has struck (12); I wish (13) to create (14).

1)    The  Taming of the Shrew, Prologue, 193-6

2)     Timon of Athens, I.i, 110-12

3)     Macbeth, III.iv, 1347-8

4)     Henry IV, Part II, III.iii, 2036

5)     Henry IV, Part II, III,I, 1710

6)     The Merchant of Venice, II.ix, 1184

7)     The Two Gentlemen of Verona, IV.iv, 221

8)     The Merchant of Venice, III.ii, 1489-1492

9)     The Winter’s Tale, V.iii, 3384-7

10)  Much Ado About Nothing, V.i, 2262-3

11)  Henry VI, Part I, V.iv, 2711

12)  Henry V, IV.viii, 2735

13)  All’s Well That Ends Well, I.i, 180

14)  Henry VI, Part III, IV.iii, 2207

Shakespeare re-arranged by Lisa

Image: ClipArt ETC – Kantner Book of Objects 114

What if Shakespeare… ran a HALLOWEEN SHOP?


Something wicked this way comes…

Shakes-store

“Come hither, come, come, come!” [1] “Be truly welcome hither” [2]. “Come, go in: / I’ll show thee some attires” [3]. “What is it you will see?” [4] “Be what thou wilt” [5]. “A Persian Prince” [6] “say you sir?” [7] “I like that well” [8].

“This new and gorgeous garment” [9] “fits the purpose passing well” [10]. “Quick, quick! we’ll come dress you straight: put / On the gown the while” [11].  “I do not like the fashion of your garments. / You’ll say they are Persian attire; but / Let them be chang’d” [12].

“Wouldst thou be” [13] “a gallant knight” [14], “attired like a warrior?” [15] “I’ll give thee, friend, / An armour all of gold” [16]. “It well befits you” [17]. “How like you this?” [18] “Pray you, look not sad” [19], “thou shalt have my best gown” [20].

(to attendant) “Come hither, sirrah” [21], “go fetch / My best attires” [22].

“Well, what would you say” [23] “the queen of all the fairies, / Finely attired in a robe of white” [24]. “I pray you, bear with me” [25]. “Fully satisfied” [26] “will I see thee by and by” [27].

(Aside) “Alack, alack, alack!” [28] “What should I do with him?” [29]

(to attendant) “Sirrah, a word with you” [30]. “Let’s go dress him / Like the witch of Brentford” [31].

“Good sir, draw near to me” [32]. “Behold and see” [33] “a wretched creature” [34], “spotted, detested and abominable” [35]. “So wither’d and so wild in their attire / That look not like the inhabitants o’ the earth” [36]. “What say you?” [37] “Is this the guise?” [38]

“Ay, those attires are best” [39]. “I shall give thee” [40] “a bloody mask” [41] “with great ragg’d horns” [42]. “Pray you, come near” [43], “I’ll tell you true” [44], “I am afraid, sir” [45], “to look upon the hideous” [46], “monstrous form” [47] “I see before me” [48].  “I pray thee, mark me” [49] – “with you in this garb” [50] “thou art assured” [51] “to fright the world” [52]. “And yet, I know thou wilt” [53] “win the prize” [54], “for thou look’st” [55] “second to none” [56].

Shakespeare re-arranged by Linda Nicoll

1. Anthony and Cleopatra [V. ii. 3441]
2. As You Like It [II. vii. 1096]
3. Much Ado About Nothing [III. i. 1179-80]
4. Hamlet [V. ii. 4027]
5. Henry VI. P I [V. iii. 2503]
6. The Merchant of Venice [II. i. 540
7. Cymbeline [IV. ii. 2794]
8. Pericles [II. v. 32]
9. Henry IV. P II [V. ii. 3292]
10. Titus Andronicus [II. iii. 819]
11. Merry Wives of Windsor [IV. ii. 2040-41]
12. King Lear [III. vi. 80-82]
13. Anthony and Cleopatra [IV. xiv. 3067]
14. Henry IV. P I [V. iii. 2901]
15. Cymbeline [V. iv. 3168]
16. Anthony and Cleopatra [IV. viii. 2816-17]
17. Henry IV. P II [III. ii. 1934]
18. As You Like It [III. ii. 1133]
19. Anthony and Cleopatra [III. ii. 2128]
20. Pericles [II. i. 741]
21. Measure for Measure [IV. ii. 1886]
22. Anthony and Cleopatra [V. ii. 3673-74]
23. All’s Well That End Well [II. v. 1348]
24. Merry Wives of Windsor [IV. iv. 2269-70]
25. As You Like It [II. iv. 729-30]
26. Henry VIII [II. iv. 1518]
27. Henry IV. P I [V. iv. 3073]
28. A Midsummer Night’s Dream [V. i. 2015]
29. Much Ado About Nothing [II. i. 426]
30. Macbeth [III. i. 1051]
31. Merry Wives of Windsor [IV. ii. 2055-56]
32. Comedy of Errors [V. i. 1436]
33. Anthony and Cleopatra [I. i. 16]
34. Julius Caesar [I. ii. 207]
35. Titus Andronicus [II. iii. 810]
36. Macbeth [I. iii. 140-41]
37. Pericles [II. i. 595]
38. Henry VI. P II [I. iii. 433]
39. Romeo and Juliet [IV. iii. 2549]
40. Anthony and Cleopatra [IV. xii. 2940]
41. Henry IV. P I [III. ii. 1960]
42. Merry Wives of Windsor [IV. iv. 2226]
43. Merry Wives of Windsor [III. iii. 1524]
44. Timon of Athens [I. ii. 582]
45. Taming of the Shrew [V. ii. 2589]
46. Henry IV. P II [II. iii. 1189]
47. Henry IV. P II [IV. ii. 2476]
48. Macbeth [II. i. 611]
49. The Tempest [I. ii. 189]
50. Hamlet [II. ii. 1456]
51. Sonnet 92 [2]
52. Henry VI. P II [III. ii. 1731]
53. Cymbeline [V. v. 3488]
54. Taming of the Shrew [II. i. 1195]
55. Pericles [V. i. 2323]
56. Comedy of Errors [V. i. 1430]

Shakespeare image: http://www.clipartmojo.com/shakespeare.html
Halloween image:  http://www.gograph.com/stock-illustration/tomb.html

What if Shakespeare…were a SPORTS COMMENTATOR?

 

Image

A happy evening [1] and ye’re welcome all [2]. We first address toward you [3] that stay’d at home [4], and they that watch [5] from yonder [6] elsewhere / from me far off [7], a hundred thousand welcomes [8]. This great sport [9] is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage [10]. And mark thee [11] well worth watching [12].

And all that are assembled in this place [13] that wait [14] with bated breath [15], lend me your ears [16]. Hark! hark! what shout is that [17] among the crowd? [18] And, hark! they shout for joy [19]. Thus we are agreed [20] what sport tonight [21] you shall see [22].

Be the players ready? [23] Ajax is ready [24] And look you [25] Percy is already in the field [26]. With roaring voices [27] the shouting plebeians [28] bid the players make haste [29]. Hark, they roar! [30] loud shouts and salutations from their mouths [31]. Alas, what joy! [32] There are the players [33]. Aeneas is a-field [34.] At last, though long [35] now I see [36] Anthony is come into the field [37]. Then shall we have a match [38].

Ajax goes up and down the field [39]. On there, pass along! [40] He scores, he scores [41] This cheers my heart [42]. He knows the game [43] excellent well [44]. Hark, the game is roused! [45] Shouts and claps out-voice the deep mouth’d sea [46].

And then begin again and stop again [47]. The match [48] is tied [49]. Methought that Gloucester stumbled [50]. They stumble that run fast [51]. Let’s see the penalty, [52] who takes it? [53] The thrice-victorious Lord of Falconbridge [54]. No no, it cannot be! [55] he hath miss’d [56]. The people in the street cry [57] you base football player [58].

And then the people fell a-shouting [59]. But where’s the great Alcides of the field, / Valiant Lord Talbot, Earl of Shrewsbury [61]. He has been yonder [61] on the bench [62]. And in all this time [63] why he, of all the rest, hath never moved [64]. With open outcry [65] the crowd [66] call him forth [67], a most gallant fellow [68] to win this easy match [69]. Here he comes [70] once more unto the breach [71]. Hark! do you not hear the / people cry [72] roaring louder than / the sea or weather [73].

It grows very late [74], the sport is at the best [75] when none can call [76] – who loses and who wins; who’s in, who’s out [77]. My heart leaps [78] breathless and faint [79], I cannot bring / my tongue to such a pace [80]. But look thee here [81] brave Talbot [82] how he outruns the wind and with what care / he cranks and crosses with a thousand doubles [83.]

The game is up! [84] Victorious Talbot [85] now hath won the day [86]. Didst thou not hear their shouts? [87] The ways of glory [88] would scarce make that be believed [89]. Renowned Talbot [90] he hath done well in people’s eyes, / hearing applause and universal shout, / giddy in spirit, still gazing in a doubt / whether these pearls of praise be his or no [91].

The games are done [92] This had been cheerful after victory [93]. O my soul’s joy! [94] I saw not better sport these seven years’ day [95]. A thousand thanks and [96] fare thee well [97]. In celebration of this day [98] applause and loving shout [99] shall be heard [100] through the streets [101]. Why, then, good night indeed [102].

Shakespeare – re-arranged by Linda Nicoll

1.        Two Gentlemen of Verona [V. i. 2056]

2.       Coriolanus [II. i. 1113]

3.       King Lear [I. i. 204]

4.       Pericles [II. iv. 553]

5.       Rape of Lucrece [1626]

6.       Henry VI P I [III. ii. 1466]

7.       Sonnet 61 [13-14]

8.       Coriolanus [II, i. 1114]

9.       Henry VIII [I. i. 88]

10.     Romeo and Juliet [Prologue 1, 12]

11.     Henry IV P I [II. iv. 1196]

12.     Cymbeline [II. iv. 1257]

13.     The Comedy of Errors [V. i. 1841]

14.     Two Gentlemen of Verona [IV. ii. 1770]

15.     The Merchant of Venice [I. iii. 451]

16.     Julius Caesar [III. Ii. 1617]

17.     Troilus and Cressida [V. ix. 3619]

18.     Henry VIII [IV. i. 2481]

19.     Julius Caesar [V. iii. 2528]

20.     Anthony and Cleopatra II. vi. 1283

21.     Anthony and Cleopatra [I. ii. 57]

22.     All’s Well That Ends Well [III. Vi. 1824]

23.     Hamlet III. [I. i. 1986-87]

24.     Troilus and Cressida [III. iii. 1901]

25.     All’s Well That Ends Well [V. iii. 3032]

26.     Henry IV PI [IV. ii. 2443-44]

27.     King Lear [II. iii. 1265]

28.     Anthony and Cleopatra [IV. xii. 2942]

29.     Hamlet [III. ii. 1925]

30.     The Tempest [IV. i. 2008]

31.     Henry IV P I [III. ii. 1876]

32.     Henry VI P I [IV. iii. 2967]

33.     Hamlet [II. ii. 1452]

34.     Troilus and Cressida [V. iii. 3354]

35.     Taming of the Shrew [V. ii. 2489]

36.     All’s Well That Ends Well [I. iii. 492]

37.     Anthony and Cleopatra [IV. vi. 2713]

38.     All’s Well That Ends Well [V. iii. 2708]

39.     Troilus and Cressida [[III. iii. 2129]

40.     Anthony and Cleopatra [III. i. 1589]

41.     All’s Well That Ends Well [IV. iii. 2307]

42.     Henry VI P III [V. iv. 2870]

43.     Henry VI P III [III. ii. 1484]

44.     Hamlet [II. ii. 1279]

45.     Cymbeline [III. iii 1708]

46.     Henry V [V. Chorus, 2849]

47.     Richard III [III. v 2071]

48.     The Comedy of Errors [III. ii. 854]

49.     Sonnet 137 [8]

50.     Richard III [I. iv. 851]

51.     Romeo and Juliet [II. iii. 156]

52.     Love’s Labour’s Lost I. i. 126]

53.     Coriolanus [IV. vii. 3252]

54.     Henry VI P I [IV. vii. 2324]

55.     All’s Well That Ends Well [II. i. 601]

56.     Cymbeline [I. i. 20]

57.     Romeo and Juliet [V. iii. 3164]

58.     King Lear [I. iv. 615]

59.     Julius Caesar [I. ii. 315]

60.     Henry VI P I [IV. vii. 2317-18]

61.     Twelfth Night [II. v. 1043-44]

62.     Timon of Athens [IV. iii. 1702]

63.     As You Like It [IV. i.1877]

64.     Two Gentlemen of Verona [I. ii. 177]

65.     Romeo and Juliet [V. iii. 3166]

66.     Henry VIII [IV. i. 2481]

67.     Henry IV P I [V. ii. 1517]

68.     All’s Well That Ends Well [III. v. 1701]

69.     King John [III. I 1264]

70.     Coriolanus [II. iii. 1462]

71.     Henry V [III. i. 1092]

72.     Troilus and Cressida [I. ii. 372-73]

73.     The Winter’s Tale [III. iii 1596-97]

74.     Romeo and Juliet [III. iii. 2045]

75.     Romeo and Juliet [I. v. 748]

76.     Macbeth [V. i. 2162]

77.     King Lear [V. iii. 3138]

78.     Pericles [V. iii. 2573]

79.     Henry IV P I [I. iii. 357]

80.     Coriolanus [II. iii. 1476-77]

81.     The Winter’s Tale [III. iii. 1606]

82.     Henry VI P I [II. i. 694-95]

83.     Venus and Adonis [703-4]

84.     Cymbeline [III. iii 1708]

85.     Henry VI P I [II. iii. 900]

86.     Henry VI P III [IV. iv. 2257]

87.     Julius Caesar [V. iii. 2594]

88.     Henry VIII [III. ii. 2349]

89.     All’s Well That Ends Well [IV. i. 1959]

90.     Henry VI P I [IV. iii. 2039]

91.     The Merchant of Venice [III. ii. 1512-15]

92.     Julius Caesar [I. ii. 269]

93.     Henry IV P II [IV. ii. 2535]

94.     Othello [II. i. 975]

95.     Henry VI P II [II. i. 728]

96.     Henry V [IV. iv. 2429]

97.     All’s Well That Ends Well [II. i. 745]

98.     Henry VIII [IV. i. 2389]

99.     Richard III [III. vii. 2240]

100.   King John [I. i. 28]

101.   Anthony and Cleopatra [I. i. 64]

102.   Anthony and Cleopatra [III. x. 2099]

What if Shakespeare…were a ZOOKEEPER?

Who doth desire to see (1) strange beasts (2)? Then follow me, and give me audience, friends. (3)

The rugged Russian bear, the arm’d rhinoceros, or the Hyrcan tiger (4) shall not harm thee, (5) [for] nature teaches beasts to know their friends. (6)

[Here is] the mournful crocodile (7). ‘Tis a strange serpent. … And the tears of it are wet. (8)

What trumpet’s that? (9) The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure. (10)

What, shall [you] seek the lion in his den (11)? A very gentle beast, of a good conscience. … Well roared, lion. (12) A king of beasts, indeed (13).

Come, let us go (14); [it is] about the sixth hour; when beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is called supper (15).

1) Julius Caesar, II.i

2) As You Like It, V.iv

3) Julius Caesar, III.ii

4) Macbeth, III.iv

5) A Midsummer Night’s Dream, III.ii

6) Coriolanus, II.i

7) King Henry VI, Part II, III.i

8) Antony and Cleopatra, II.vii

9) King Lear, II.iv

10) Toilus and Cressida, II.iii

11) A Midsummer Night’s Dream, V.i

12) King John, V.i

13) King Richard, II, V.i

14) Much Ado About Nothing, IV.i

15) Love’s Labour’s Lost, I.i

Shakespeare re-arranged by Lisa

Image: ClipArt ETC – Heer, J. C. Guide to Lucerne (Lucerne: H. Keller’s Foreign Printing Office, 1907) 168

What if Shakespeare…were an ASTRONOMER?

Shakespeare and Galileo were born in the same year – 1564.

The first telescopes were Netherlandish inventions and Galileo, inspired, created his own and improved the instrument.  In 1609, he observed the moon, drew its phases, and showed its irregular surface.  Later on, Galileo found that Venus had phases too.  In 1610, Galileo discovered 4 moons orbiting Jupiter, which showed another centre of motion in the universe.  Jupiter is now known to have 50 moons, Galileo’s being the largest.  They are called Galillean satellites and are named Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto.  (As You Like It‘s “Ganymede” would have been inspired by Greek mythology, as Galileo’s discovery would not have been made at the time).  Galileo’s observations, and eventually Galileo himself, supported Copernicus’ controversial model of the universe – that placed the Sun, not the Earth, at its centre.

Shakespeare uses many similes and metaphors inspired by the celestial sphere, so to speak.  However, in Sonnet 59, the line “Even of five hundred courses of the sun” suggests that he was still living in a heliocentric world.

Inspiration goes both ways and astronomy has also looked to Shakespeare!  In fact, Uranus’ 27 moons are almost all named after Shakespeare’s characters:

  1. Cordelia – King Lear
  2. Ophelia – Hamlet
  3. Bianca – The Taming of the Shrew
  4. Cressida – Troilus and Cressida
  5. Desdemona – Othello
  6. Juliet – Romeo and Juliet
  7. Portia – The Merchant of Venice
  8. Rosalind – As You Like It (who disguises herself as Ganymede)
  9. Mab – Romeo and Juliet (also from Alexander Pope’s The Rape of the Lock)
  10. Perdita – The Winter’s Tale
  11. Puck – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  12. Miranda – The Tempest
  13. Francisco – The Tempest
  14. Ariel – The Tempest (also from Alexander Pope’s The Rape of the Lock)
  15. Titania – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  16. Oberon – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  17. Caliban – The Tempest
  18. Stephano – The Tempest
  19. Trinculo – The Tempest
  20. Sycorax – The Tempest
  21. Margaret – Much Ado About Nothing
  22. Prospero – The Tempest
  23. Setebos – The Tempest
  24. Ferdinand – The Tempest

Not from the stars do I judgement pluck / And yet methinks I have astronomy (1).  The poring dark / Fills the wide vessel of the universe (2).  The heavens themselves, the planets and this centre / Observe degree, priority and place (3): The seasons alter…the spring, the summer / The childing autumn, angry winter, change / Their wonted liveries, and the mazed world (4), the little O, the earth (5), must follow, as the night the day (6).

Why day is day, night is night, and time is time (7).  To sit upon a hill, as I do now, / To carve out dials quaintly, point by point, / Thereby to see the minutes how they run, / How many makes the hour full complete; / How many hours bring about the day; / How many days will finish up the year; / How many years a mortal man may live (8):

Littered under Mercury (9) / In characters as red as Mars…heart / Inflamed with Venus (10) / Opening on Neptune with fair blessed beams (11).  (Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction!  What says almanac to that?) (12)  By Pluto (13), a stirring dwarf (14), O Jupiter!  there’s no comparison (15).

These late eclipses of the sun and moon (16) – the inconstant moon / That monthly changes in her circled orb (17) – portend no good to us (16). Comets, importing change of times and states, / Brandish your crystal tresses in the sky (18).  Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I: / It is some meteor that the sun exhales (19) – O sun, / Burn the great sphere thou movest in! (20)

By Laboni Islam

Image: ClipArt ETC – The World’s Book of Knowledge and Universal Educator.  Boston: J.R. Spaulding & Co., 1901.

1)  Sonnet 14

2)  Henry V, IV.0, 1789

3)  Troilus and Cressida, I.iii, 528-529

4)  A Midsummer Night’s Dream, II.i, 476 and 480-482

5)  Antony and Cleopatra, V.ii, 3488

6)  Hamlet, I.iii, 542

7)  Hamlet, II.ii, 1182

8)  Henry VI, Part III; II.v; 1113-1119

9)  The Winter’s Tale, IV.iii, 1726

10)  Troilus and Cressida, Vii, 3238-3239

11)  A Midsummer Night’s Dream, III.ii, 1449

12)  Henry IV, Part II; II.iv; 1553-1554

13)  Troilus and Cressida, V.ii, 3170

14)  Troilus and Cressida, II.iii, 1330

15)  Troilus and Cressida, I.ii, 216

16)  King Lear, I.ii, 429-430

17)  Romeo and Juliet, II.ii, 958-959

18)  Henry VI, Part I; I.i; 6-7

19)  Romeo and Juliet, III.v, 2109-2110

20)  Antony and Cleopatra, IV.xv, 3176-3177

What if Shakespeare…were HARRY POTTER?

Happy Birthday Harry!

We love Shakespeare, we love J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter, and we could not resist.

‘Tis time to celebrate them together!

[Outside Hogwarts.  Harry, wearing his invisibility cloak, attended by Ron and Hermione]

HARRY:  [To Hermione] ‘Tis time / …Lend thy hand, / And pluck my magic garment from me.  So: [Lays down his invisibility cloak, revealing himself] / Lie there, my art (1).

VOLDEMORT:  Show me [the] one scar character’d on thy skin / …flesh preserved so whole do seldom win (2).

HARRY:  He jests at scars that never felt a wound (3).  [Our wands] are birds of the selfsame feather (4): Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere; / Nor can [the wizard world] brook a double reign, / of Harry [Potter] and [Lord Voldemort] (5).

VOLDEMORT:  I bear a charmed life, which must not yield (6).  Sumbit thee, boy (7).

HARRY:  [Dumbledore’s] soul / Is but a little way above our heads, / Staying for thine to keep him company: / Either thou, or I, or both, must go with him (8).

VOLDEMORT:  Thou, wretched boy, that didst consort him here, / Shalt with him hence! (9)  Come basilisk, / And kill the innocent gazer with thy sight; / For in the shades of death I shall find joy (10).

HARRY:  Men for their sons, wives for their husbands, / And orphans for their parents’ timeless death – / Shall rue the hour that ever thou wast born. / The owl shriek’d at thy birth, – an evil sign. (11).  When every feather sticks in his own wing, / Lord [Voldemort] will be left a naked gull, / Which flashes now a phoenix! (12)

[The battle ensues…]

HARRY:  A feather will turn the scale (13).  [Fawkes criesHarry strikes.]  There stand, [Voldemort disintegrates] / For thou art spell-stopped (14).

Inspired by J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series; Shakespeare re-arranged by Laboni Islam

1)  The Tempest, I.ii, 111-113

2)  Henry VI, Part II; III.i; 1585-1586

3)  Romeo & Juliet, II.i, 845

4)  Henry VI, Part III; III.iii, 1858

5)  Henry IV, Part I; V.iv; 3023-3025

6)  Macbeth, V.viii, 2489

7)  King John, II.i, 455

8)  Romeo & Juliet, III.i, 1635-1637

9)  Romeo & Juliet, III.i, 1638-1639

10)  Henry VI, Part II; III.ii; 1733-1735

11)  Henry VI, Part III; V.vi; 3036-3039

12)  Timon of Athens, II.i, 658-660

13)  Measure for Measure, IV.ii, 1912-1913

14)  The Tempest, V.i, 2089-2090